{"id":1212751,"date":"2023-03-26T17:10:58","date_gmt":"2023-03-26T21:10:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/sunday-satire-11-great-reasons-to-stay-in-california\/1212751\/"},"modified":"2023-03-26T17:10:58","modified_gmt":"2023-03-26T21:10:58","slug":"sunday-satire-11-great-reasons-to-stay-in-california","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/sunday-satire-11-great-reasons-to-stay-in-california\/1212751\/","title":{"rendered":"Sunday Satire: 11 Great Reasons To Stay In California"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n

Sunday Satire: 11 Great Reasons To Stay In California<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Via Babylon Bee,<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

According to reports, hundreds of thousands of people have fled California in recent years, citing minor annoyances like aggressive homeless people, increased violent crime, and crippling taxes. <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

Some experts believe that by 2030, the only person left in California will be Gavin Newsom<\/strong> – and\u00a0he’ll\u00a0<\/em>spend half his time on his ranch in Montana.<\/p>\n

But all these concerns citizens have may be overblown.<\/p>\n

There’s still a lot to love about the Golden State. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Here are 11 great reasons to stick around:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n

    Zillow estimates your cardboard box house will be worth $3 million in just a few years –\u00a0<\/strong>Hoooold – HOOOOOLD!!!<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  2. \n

    If you identify as black you have a decent chance of scoring millions in reparations soon –<\/strong>\u00a0Pull a Rachel Dolezal and you can be cashing in big time any day now.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  3. \n

    There are beautiful natural sights like the warm glow of forest fires lighting up the skies –\u00a0<\/strong>We call them “the golden lights,” and they’re magnificent.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  4. \n

    Everyone will be gone soon and then there will be no lines at Disneyland –<\/strong>\u00a0You’ll have to push the button to start up the tea cups yourself, but no more waiting!<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  5. \n

    Everything at CVS is free –<\/strong>\u00a0Even better than no waiting – no paying for anything!<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  6. \n

    When you pay your massive state tax bill, you get a sense of satisfaction that you’re supporting some hobo’s fentanyl addiction –<\/strong>\u00a0No amount of money saved can make up for that feeling.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  7. \n

    Law-abiding citizens don’t have guns, so there is never any crime –<\/strong>\u00a0It’s science.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  8. \n

    There’s great weather outside of fire season, drought season, and deadly mudslide season –\u00a0<\/strong>There are three days in April without fires, droughts, or mudslides. Enjoy them.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  9. \n

    You can ski and surf on the same day, even though you haven’t done either in years –<\/strong>\u00a0But you can be smug in the knowledge that you\u00a0could\u00a0<\/em>if you really wanted to. (But you don’t). (But you could).<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  10. \n

    You can go camping right on the sidewalk –\u00a0<\/strong>No permit required.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  11. \n

    Best of all, the government will make all your decisions for you –<\/strong>\u00a0This is maybe the best reason to stick around: you won’t be burdened with pesky concepts like “liberty” and “personal responsibility.” Good ol’ Gavin will take care of ya.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Well, that’s all we can think of.<\/p>\n

    If these didn’t convince you, then move to Texas and enjoy your lame “freedom” and “guns.”<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    Tyler Durden<\/a><\/span>
    \nSun, 03\/26\/2023 – 21:00<\/span><\/p>\n

    From:Zerohedge<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Sunday Satire: 11 Great Reasons To Stay In California Via Babylon Bee, According to reports, hundreds of thousands of people have fled California in recent…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1212751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","wpcat-1-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1212751","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1212751"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1212751\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1212751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1212751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1212751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}