{"id":1262742,"date":"2023-04-29T15:10:06","date_gmt":"2023-04-29T19:10:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/saturday-satire-the-diversity-officer-employment-aptitude-test\/1262742\/"},"modified":"2023-04-29T15:10:06","modified_gmt":"2023-04-29T19:10:06","slug":"saturday-satire-the-diversity-officer-employment-aptitude-test","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/saturday-satire-the-diversity-officer-employment-aptitude-test\/1262742\/","title":{"rendered":"Saturday Satire: The Diversity Officer Employment Aptitude Test"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n

Saturday Satire: The Diversity Officer Employment Aptitude Test<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Authored by Stanley Ridgley via American Greatness,<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Demand for Diversity Officers may have peaked and may even be on the wane.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion hustle is running its course and may soon be out of steam, but it\u2019s not too late to collect your share of the loot.<\/p>\n

This means you shouldn\u2019t delay applying for one of the lucrative positions carrying the generic title of \u201cDEI Officer.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

While the typical DEI position requires no expertise of any sort, it does require a collection of attitudes toward your fellow men and women, an ability to utter shameless platitudes and clich\u00e9s, and embrace a clearly identifiable and primitive Manichean worldview grounded in paranoia.<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you aim to become a promising candidate for a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) position, either in the corporate world or in academia, you can easily discover if you have the necessary self-conscious virtue by taking this five-minute employment aptitude survey.<\/p>\n

Answer \u201cYes\u201d to the following statements if you agree, and add or subtract the points assigned for each question based on your Yes answer. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Then score yourself by comparing your results with those in the chart at the end. Good luck!<\/p>\n

\n

1) I am not appreciated for my many talents.\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

2) I am inherently suspicious of others.\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

3) I believe that America is the land of opportunity.\u00a0-3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

4) I believe that I have access to truths denied to others. +5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

5) I believe that I must work hard for my reward.\u00a0-3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

6) I believe in a world that is divided into oppressors and oppressed, exploiters and exploited and that these groups are easily identified by the color of their skin.\u00a0 +5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

7) I believe that I can work to give in-groups preferential treatment while simultaneously saying that there are no racial or gender preferences at our institution.\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

8) I believe that I should bring my \u201cauthentic self\u201d to work, irrespective of any other considerations. +5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

9) I believe, like Frederick Douglass, that in America, one can pull oneself up \u201cby the bootstraps\u201d to succeed.\u00a0-7<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

10) If I fail in my job, I immediately search for the reason in causes external to me, such as the \u201csystem\u201d or the \u201cunearned advantages\u201d available to other people.\u00a0+7<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

11) If people question me and ask for evidence for what I say, I immediately attack them for their \u201cresistance\u201d to the truth that I offer in my story.\u00a0 +5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

12) I believe that \u201cindigenous\u201d forms of knowledge such as the \u201cmedicine wheel\u201d and the \u201ctalking stick\u201d should be incorporated into our scientific discourse.\u00a0+7<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

13) I always list my pronouns in my email signature and social media profiles.\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

14) I recognize that today\u2019s \u201cDiversity\u201d office resembles the Soviet Union\u2019s old Political Commissariat, where political ideologues occupied positions to report on the political reliability of those who actually worked to accomplish the mission.\u00a0-10\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>BONUS POINTS:\u00a0 If you know this but believe it\u2019s a good thing. \u00a0+15<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

15) Anyone who disagrees with the lofty goals of \u201cDiversity, Equity, and Inclusion\u201d is guilty of \u201cdiversity resistance.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0+5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

16) I believe that a doctorate in education, sociology, or gender studies is every bit as important and impressive as a doctorate in physics.\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

17) When people respond to my charges of \u201cracism\u201d in a particular company or university, with bothersome requests for evidence, examples, or proof, I complain of being attacked, invalidated, and dehumanized rather than taking the opportunity to prove my point.\u00a0\u00a0+5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

18) I believe that \u201cstories\u201d and \u201cnarratives\u201d are just as important and as convincing as knowledge grounded in logic, reason, and the scientific method.\u00a0+7<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

19) As women are 50 percent more likely to earn bachelor\u2019s degrees than men, this shows we need to do everything we can to support women in higher education.\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

20) I am familiar with the racialist statement \u201cskinfolk aren\u2019t always kinfolk,\u201d and I look with suspicion at persons with whom I share the superficial characteristic of race but who disagree with me.\u00a0+7<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

21) I routinely drop the word \u201csystemic\u201d into conversations.\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

22) I use the terms \u201cwhite supremacy\u201d and \u201cwhite privilege\u201d comfortably and un-ironically, without awareness that they are equivalent to scapegoat devil terms such as the\u00a0bourgeoisie, or Kulaks, or International Jewry, or infidels to explain all the bad that happens.\u00a0+5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

23) I believe that the best method for advancing our knowledge and understanding of the physical world is logic, reason, and the type of inquiry we call the scientific method.\u00a0-10<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

24) I believe that people like Ijeomo Oluo, Paulo Freire, Ibram Kendi, and Derald Wing Sue have important things to say about our society that get to the inner truth. +5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

24) I don\u2019t pay much attention to the fantasies, \u201cstories,\u201d and pseudoscience of Ijeomo Oluo, Paulo Freire, Ibram Kendi, and Derald Wing Sue.\u00a0-7<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

25) I believe in something called \u201cdiversity science,\u201d which substantiates the basic beneficial tenets of the diversity agenda. +5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

26) I believe that \u201cdiversity science\u201d is pseudo-scientific twaddle fabricated by off campus nonprofits and imported into universities and the corporate world.\u00a0-10<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

27) The Brazilian educationist Paulo Freire and his\u00a0Pedagogy of the Oppressed\u00a0inspires me to work for social justice, emancipation, and against oppression in all its forms.\u00a0 +5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

28) I know that Paulo Freire was a crypto-Maoist who borrowed almost all of his education theory from Mao Zedong\u2019s murderous Cultural Revolution, which Freire greatly admired.\u00a0-5\u00a0<\/strong>BONUS POINTS:\u00a0 If you know this but believe it\u2019s a good thing. \u00a0+15\u00a0<\/strong>.<\/em><\/p>\n

29) I believe any disagreement with my worldview can be overcome with more \u201ceducation.\u201d\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

30) I divide society into \u201coppressors\u201d and \u201coppressed,\u201d \u201cexploiters\u201d and \u201cexploited,\u201d and I know that this is a primitive Manichean way of looking at society that resembles a medievalist world divided into \u201cinfidels\u201d and \u201cbelievers.\u201d\u00a0 +5\u00a0<\/strong>BONUS POINTS:\u00a0 If you do this and believe it\u2019s a good thing. \u00a0+5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

31) I believe in \u201cinclusion and belonging\u201d as fervently as any member of Reverend Moon\u2019s Unification Church believes in \u201cpeace and unity.\u201d\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

32) I believe that I have attained \u201ccritical consciousness\u201d and that those who disagree with my ideology are afflicted with \u201cfalse consciousness\u201d and must be taught to embrace a new belief system. +5<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

33) I believe that \u201ccritical consciousness\u201d and \u201cfalse consciousness\u201d constitute a tautological contrivance that updates Karl Marx\u2019s notion of \u201cclass consciousness\u201d for race and gender sensibilities.\u00a0-5\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>BONUS POINTS: I recognize that critical consciousness is the latest play on Plato\u2019s cave allegory from his\u00a0Republic\u00a0of the 4th century B.C.\u00a0-5\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>DOUBLE-BONUS POINTS:\u00a0 If you know the foregoing and believe they are good things.\u00a0+15 <\/strong>I don\u2019t know who Plato is.\u00a0+10<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

34) I believe that the poetry of Audre Lorde is profound, particularly her \u201cmaster\u2019s tools\u201d line.\u00a0+2<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

35) I recognize that Audre Lorde\u2019s \u201cmaster\u2019s tools\u201d line is pedestrian.\u00a0-7<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

36) \u201cInclusion and belonging\u201d sounds too close to a cult slogan for me to feel comfortable with it.\u00a0-7<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

37) I believe that I should be called \u201cDoctor\u201d just like Jill Biden because I wrote a 120-page \u201cdissertation\u201d for my Ed.D. that explores my feelings about the education program I just completed, and which required zero research.\u00a0 +7<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

38) I am thrilled\u2014thrilled\u2014that \u201cI finally get to use my master\u2019s degree\u201d in educational leadership to bring people to critical consciousness.\u00a0\u00a0+3<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0*\u00a0 *\u00a0 *<\/strong><\/p>\n

Good candidate?\u00a0<\/strong>You<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0make the call!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

+40 and above:\u00a0<\/strong>Welcome aboard, commissar!\u00a0 Get ready to\u00a0Do the Work!<\/em><\/p>\n

+39-30:\u00a0<\/strong>Not the perfect package but you\u2019re ready to share\u00a0authentic\u00a0stories, struggle against \u201csupremacy,\u201d and\u00a0do some dismantling!<\/em><\/p>\n

+29-20:\u00a0<\/strong>A few more weeks of amplifying \u201cmarginalized voices\u201d should bolster your score<\/em><\/p>\n

+19-10:\u00a0<\/strong>You\u2019re not committed enough\u2014time for a \u201cdifficult dialogue\u201d and a \u201ccourageous conversation,\u201d capped off with a \u201cBrave Space\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

+9-0:\u00a0<\/strong>Hands behind your back\u2014your struggle session is through that door.<\/em><\/p>\n

-1 and below:\u00a0<\/strong>Racist!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

Tyler Durden<\/a><\/span>
\nSat, 04\/29\/2023 – 18:00<\/span><\/p>\n

From:Zerohedge<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Saturday Satire: The Diversity Officer Employment Aptitude Test Authored by Stanley Ridgley via American Greatness, Demand for Diversity Officers may have peaked and may even…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1262742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","wpcat-1-id"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbimBl-5iuO","jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1262742","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1262742"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1262742\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1262742"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1262742"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1262742"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}