{"id":1551477,"date":"2025-08-07T17:45:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-07T21:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/?p=1551477"},"modified":"2025-08-07T17:45:00","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T21:45:00","slug":"every-fkin-day-bro-a-glimpse-into-the-life-of-a-hedge-fund-manager-under-trump-2-0","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/every-fkin-day-bro-a-glimpse-into-the-life-of-a-hedge-fund-manager-under-trump-2-0\/1551477\/","title":{"rendered":"“Every F**kin’ Day Bro” – A Glimpse Into The Life Of A Hedge Fund Manager Under Trump 2.0"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Every F**kin’ Day Bro” – A Glimpse Into The Life Of A Hedge Fund Manager Under Trump 2.0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

To paraphrase Kermit The Frog, ‘It’s not easy making green” and under Trump 2.0, that has never been more true for the ‘average’ hedge fund manager dealing with 24\/7 headline risk from the current resident of The White House.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

For those who may not be in the seat, or have a clue as to just what the daily roller-coaster has been like for the last seven months and counting, Harris Kupperman, CIO of Praetorian Capital posted the following on X<\/a>, which although a little tongue in cheek, is awfully close to the reality of anyone trying to trade this chaos. Brace yourself, as Kuppy says “Every fuckin’ day bro… every one!”<\/strong><\/em>:<\/p>\n

6:00 – Wake up, check what Trump tariffed overnight. Cambodia up +200%, Paraguay -3% (they said thanks).<\/p>\n

6:05 – Brew some coffee.<\/p>\n

6:10 – Trump tweets that the laws are rigged, since he cannot tariff Arizona. Mentally scroll the portfolio for exposure\u2026<\/p>\n

6:15 – Check what happened in Asia and Europe. 6:22 – Trump announces that hot dogs will join the food pyramid. Bans hot dog exports. Fortunately our book dodged that one.<\/p>\n

6:30 – Drink some coffee, talk to wife, pray Trump will spend the morning golfing so I can do some actual work…\u00a0<\/p>\n

6:31 – Trump announces that oil at $65 is too high. Threatens anyone who isn\u2019t producing more oil.<\/p>\n

6:32 – Top 5 position announces earnings, want to join the earnings call at 7am, but Trump just scheduled a press conference then, and he\u2019s looking unpredictable.<\/p>\n

7:02 – Trump announces that Japan can now export golf balls tariff-free, in honor of Abe letting him cheat at golf. Join the earnings call instead.<\/p>\n

7:06 – Futures plunge 65 handles in a single tick, frantically leave the earnings call and go back to whatever Trump is still yapping about in his press conference.<\/p>\n

7:10 – Scroll through premarket quotes. NVDA and PLTR are both up 5% b\/c it\u2019s a day ending in \u2018Y\u2019 but SPZ are now down 80 handles.<\/p>\n

7:15 – Trump changed his mind and SPZ are now up 25 handles as everyone rushes to cover their short. (I re-join the earnings call)<\/p>\n

7:30 – Some broker I\u2019ve never heard of just downgraded a top 5 position and it\u2019s down 15% on 300 shares traded. I\u2019m pretty confident it will close around there too. (I crack open a beer as I skim his downgrade report, realizing that nothing productive will happen today\u2026)<\/p>\n

8:00 – An LP calls to remind me of some ShitCoin he recommended that\u2019s now up 1800% since he recommended it.<\/p>\n

8:09 – 10-yr bonds gap down 17 bps, but all I can find is a tweet from Bessent about how great Main Street is doing.<\/p>\n

8:15 – Some sell side asshole cold-calls me to see if I want a copy of his upgrade report on the AI sector. Tells me that \u201cit\u2019s going to be big and you don\u2019t want to miss it.\u201d<\/p>\n

8:20 – Check my email, do 10 minutes of actual work.<\/p>\n

8:30 – Trump threatens Brazil, I realize our BZ exposure is gonna get thumped on the open. (Crack open a 2nd beer)<\/p>\n

8:33 – Reminisce about how productive I was, since Biden wouldn\u2019t even wake up until noon.<\/p>\n

8:40 – Chat with my CFO for 19 mins about some new compliance form we need to file.<\/p>\n

8:59 – Trump Tweets about how stupid Powell is. Futures are back down 30 handles.<\/p>\n

9:04 – Join a call 4 mins late with an endowment that wants an update, but 100% will never invest. \u201cBTW – we need you to update the DDQ as we\u2019ve changed our format\u201d<\/p>\n

9:29 – Casino is opening. Let\u2019s see what happens.<\/p>\n

9:32 – I\u2019m bored. Go back to reading emails. Turns out the govt created another new form we ALSO need to fill out\u2026<\/p>\n

10:00 – We\u2019re actually up 50bps.<\/p>\n

10:03 – Now down 175bps. Trump just threatened to bomb Europe.<\/p>\n

10:06 – Tweets he was just joking about Europe. But those guys need to get their shit together bc he might still bomb them.<\/p>\n

10:08 – Ready for bourbon. Beer won\u2019t cut it\u2026<\/p>\n

10:30 – EIA oil inventory shows yet another massive draw. Oil drops 5% anyway.<\/p>\n

10:40 – Don Jr\u2019s latest SPAC rallies 300% on rumors it may launch a new ShitCoin<\/p>\n

10:45 – Friend calls to cry about how cheap all his names are. We both agree we were idiots to invest in businesses with earnings.<\/p>\n

11:22 – Trump reminds everyone about how much Putin likes him.<\/p>\n

11:40 – Realize I\u2019m now too tweaked to sit in the office. Turn off the machines and go get lunch with a friend who\u2019s also gonna bitch about how stupid markets have become.<\/p>\n

12:05 – Hostess at restaurant pitches me some ShitCoin. Claims she\u2019s up a few million on it<\/p>\n

12:07 – Friend starts bitching about how stupid it is to be an investor under Trump, and how we all made money under Biden. I agree with him, but we both agree it would be even stupider under Kamala\u2026<\/p>\n

For more from Harris, visit\u00a0Kuppy\u2019s Korner blog at http:\/\/pracap.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Tyler Durden<\/a><\/span>
\nThu, 08\/07\/2025 – 13:45<\/span><\/p>\n

\u200bhttps:\/\/www.zerohedge.com\/markets\/every-fkin-day-bro-glimpse-life-hedge-fund-manager-under-trump-20<\/a>\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Every F**kin’ Day Bro” – A Glimpse Into The Life Of A Hedge Fund Manager Under Trump 2.0 To paraphrase Kermit The Frog, ‘It’s not…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":1551478,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1551477","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","wpcat-1-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1551477","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1551477"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1551477\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1551478"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1551477"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1551477"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bugaluu.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1551477"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}